Torah Study Blog

One of the Ten Commandments is to honor your father and mother (Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:12). And, an unrelated passage from Leviticus is translated to indicate that we should, “each revere his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3), but Rabbi Jaech tells us that a better translation is, “Each of you shall fear his mother and his father.” With the American holiday of Thanksgiving upon us, and looking at the Torah portion for this week, Rabbi Jaech led us on an exploration of family dynamics, and dysfunction, in the Bible.

The Torah portion for this week includes the birth of Isaac and Rebekah’s twin sons, Esau and Jacob. The Torah tells us that Rebekah had a difficult pregnancy with her twins struggling in her womb. Our translation reads that Rebekah bemoans her discomfort by saying, “Why do I exist?” But Rabbi Jaech tell us a better translation comes from an Ugaritic saying that translates to, “What do I need this for?!?”

God answered Rebekah by letting her know that there were two nations struggling in her womb; two nations that would become two separate peoples. Additionally, Rebekah was told that the older son would serve the younger son. Although they were twins, Esau was born first and, as the older son, convention dictates that Esau would inherit everything, including leadership of the family. But this story turns that on its head and leaves the younger son, Jacob, with the leadership.

Hundreds of years of traditions were preserved in the Bible. The stories of Jacob and Esau tell us how Jacob came to be the leader of the Israelite people and his older brother, Esau, became the leader of the Edomites. The Edomites are an attested people - people with whom the Israelites had interaction in biblical times. By looking closely at the Bible passages, we can see that there were likely two traditions known by the Israelites and they were woven into one Bible story.

The narrative quickly moves from the birth of the twins to when they have grown, and we learn how their parents played “favorites.” The Bible tells us that their father, Isaac, favored Esau because he was a manly-man and hunter who brought back game for Isaac to eat. Jacob was favored by his mother because he was a mild man who stayed close to home.

The real trouble comes when Isaac, near the end of his life and with diminishing eyesight, wants to give his blessing to his eldest son. But, Rebekah puts in place a scheme to trick Isaac into giving the blessing to Jacob instead. In the Bible passages that opened this session we are told to “honor,” “revere,” or “fear” our parents. If Jacob follows Rebekah’s plan, he cannot honor his father. If Jacob refuses to follow Rebekah’s plan, he cannot honor his mother. Either way, Jacob shows some hesitation about going ahead with the plan – but not because it would be mean to do to his brother, Esau. Jacob’s hesitation comes because he is afraid that he will be caught.

We don’t know if Rebekah plotted this deception this because she “favored” Jacob over Esau, or because she was simply following the plan God told her when she was pregnant with the boys and she learned the older would serve the younger. But we can grasp that a different tradition has been woven into the overall story though a few passages: We are told that Esau married two Hittite women (polygamy was accepted in biblical times) and we are told that the wives, “were a source of bitterness to Isaac and Rebekah” (Genesis 26:34). Later in the story, Rebekah announces to Isaac that she is “disgusted with [her] life because of the Hittite women” (Genesis 27:66) The story tells us that Esau comes to realize that his Hittite wives are displeasing to his parents, so he goes ahead and married a third wife – his cousin, who is of the same stock (Genesis 28:9). Esau has done everything he can to please his parents but, no matter what, he will not be the hero of this story - or the winning child.

Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob and Esau are fictional characters. The story can be read as a foundational story about two neighboring nations. People continue to read these stories and debate their meaning because the people who told these stories did so in a very human way, a way that reflects human nature. In this story, all the characters are ethically compromised in some way, which reflects dysfunction in every family.

Rabbi Jaech wondered what a child owes to a parent who has raised them in a physically or psychologically abusive way. The organization of Reform rabbis who weighs in on questions like this have issued commentary that people are not expected to honor parents who have been physically or psychologically abusive.

And for that, we give thanks!

You can find our podcast on iTunes under “TINW Torah Study” or “Jennifer Jaech.” Subscribe and rate us!

misquotes or misunderstandings in what Rabbi Jaech taught us are the responsibility of Tara Keiter